Prologue

Translator: Deus Ex Machina

Proofreader: KLZ

“I’m sorry Asahi, I really don’t think we can continue dating like this.”

In a backyard where cherry blossoms bloomed a little early, her beloved boyfriend broke the ice like so.

“Arata… What, why?”

“...Sorry.”

“I won’t understand why from just ‘I’m sorry’”

“I’m really sorry...”

Saying only that, Arata turned his back on me and ran.



“Wait!!”

As I reached my hands out, I saw a familiar white ceiling.

“I was... dreaming?”

Neither the cherry blossoms nor his back were ahead any longer.

And that’s the way it should be. After all, that happened three years ago.

(How much longer will this continue?...)

Wincing about her effeminate side, she took her uniform from the hanger.



“Ah, Asahi, good morning, You’re up early today.”

“Good morning. Yeah… I sorta had a bad dream.”

When I entered the classroom, a friend called out to me.

“Bad dream?”

“......”

“...Arata again?”

“Mhmm. I even thought I got over it already.”

I answered with a smile and Miyuki kindly smiled back at me.

“It will be fine. One day you will completely forget about it.”

Nodding my head in agreement, I sat down in the seat behind Miyuki’s.

I was thinking that ever since that day. ‘One day, as time passes, sooner or later…’ But even after many years passed. I can still vividly see that day in my dreams. And everytime I had that dream, I remember that third year in junior high I spent with Arata.

(Third Year, huh?)



I unconsciously imagined his appearance from back then. Something that I never got to see again.



“Mmmm, What should I do?”

After school, even though Miyuki invited me to hang out, I didn’t feel like going and headed straight home.

Not feeling the urge to change, nor doing my homework, I plopped down on the bed in my uniform.

(It’s because of that dream...)

A dream I haven't seen for a long time

Also, the dream that I grew to hate.

Like searching for the continuation of that day, I dreamed over and over again - trying to squeeze out the words I could not say that day. It always ends the same way.

(Forget it. I need to move on...)

I wonder how many times I thought of that now. How many years?

I want to forget but I couldn’t.

——I’m sure it’s because I’m not convinced it was a properly ended love.

“Arata… What are you doing right now?...

“～♪～～♪♪～♪～～♪♪”

Right after muttering that, the cellphone that I just released from silent mode started ringing.

A ringtone unique from others that only one person could ring.

“Ara—ta...?”



What displayed on screen was a name so nostalgic, yet bittersweet, and the one I had always been waiting for.

—Incoming call: Suzuki Arata—

“He-Hello...?”

I suddenly jumped up from the bed, took a deep breath, and then pressed the answer button.

I managed to squeeze out a voice that was trembling the same way my hand holding the phone.

But I didn’t hear anything from the other side.

“Ara...ta?”

While talking, I heard a woman’s voice mutter over my own.

“Asahi-san, right?”



The voice seemed familiar, yet unfamiliar at the same time.

At the very least, the female voice is not Arata’s.

“Uhm…?”

“I’m his mother.”

“Huh?”

“I’m… Suzuki Arata’s mother.”



——The woman said so in a stiff voice.



◇◇◇





“Why?”

After I hung up with Arata’s mother on the phone, I was standing dumbfounded, tightly grasping the phone in my hand.

“Why… Why… Why?!...”

We finally talked after all these years, although we didn't even talk that much before.

Still, whenever I came to hang out, she would always welcome me with a smile. I thought she had the same smile as Arata-kun.



“Yesterday, Arata passed away.”



So, when Arata’s mother said those words, I couldn’t understand what she meant.

(Arata passed… What? What do you mean by that? Passed away?)

My head was filled with many question marks.

“Today is the wake, and tomorrow will be the funeral service. I would like for you to come and say goodbye for the last time.”



Arata... is dead.



I didn’t think that the first call in three years would be such a news.

“Arata...”

There were many thoughts I wanted to ask, ‘such as why wait until now to contact me?’.

However, I was so upset that I couldn’t hear anything Arata’s mother said, I just answered as I was told and hung up the phone.

“......”

I can’t think of anything.

Not even a tear dropped.

Arata is dead.

My head refused to understand the meaning of the words.

However, as if to chase after my denials, messages started flooding in one after another.

“!!!”

All messages were from friends I used to get along with, friends I still have contact with. Everyone worried for me.







I visited Arata’s home after three years with Miyuki - who invited me saying that it would be lonely to go alone.

It was a nostalgic house, a nostalgic air.

The Suzuki house I went to in junior high with excitement had not changed.

This time however it was filled with a solemn atmosphere. And that Arata, who was always with me, isn’t here anymore.

“Asahi-san, right?”

Arata’s mother spoke to me as I stood dumbfounded.

“Ah… It’s been... a long time.”

Arata’s mother, dressed in mourning clothes, looked much older than she was three years ago.

“Sorry for calling you so suddenly.”

While I was wondering what happened to Arata’s mother who began walking, Miyuki, who has been next to me, said.

“Come on, Go after her.”

Because she said so, I left Miyuki to follow Arata’s mother.



“......”

“......”

After walking for a while, Arata’s mother entered a familiar room



——Arata’s room.



Arata’s room, where I had come to hang out many times in the past.

Arata’s room, where I had not set foot in since that time.

Sitting on the chair of Arata’s study desk, his mother began to speak in a low voice.



She talked about Arata suffering since childhood from a heart disease.

About his condition deteriorating in the third semester of this third year in middle school and being unable to go to senior high and had to fight for his life in the hospital.

And that he kept calling on my name until the end.

I didn’t know. I DIDN’T KNOW.

About Arata’s suffering. Him fighting to live.

I didn’t know anything.

“Will you please take this?”

It was a notebook that was handed to me.

Old bound. It was a heavy notebook.

“It’s a… Diary?”

Written on the spine, in gold lettering, was Diary.



“It’s something he has been keeping for a long time. I thought giving it to you would make him the happiest.”

“Eh?”

What do you mean… giving it to me…?

“Truthfully, there are many things I wanted to tell you...”

“......”

“But you’ll see for yourself when I read that, I can’t say anything more.”

I don’t know how to call out to her, who was smiling sadly at me.





Holding the diary I received dearly, I bowed slightly and returned to Miyuki.

My heartbeat sounds louder than usual,

I didn’t need to run, but I wanted to return to Miyuki side where I’m not alone, even a second faster.

“Asahi? Are you alright?”

When I noticed, there was Miyuki already.

“I’m... fine.”

“Then, it’s alright. You look ghastly pale. Let’s go home early?”

“Yes.”

With Miyuki, we headed towards Arata’s coffin.

In the coffin, there was Arata. with a more mature expression than that time.

“Arata...”

Tears began to flow uncontrollably.

And I came to finally understand.

——Ahh. Arata is really… dead.

“Why didn’t you say anything…?”

“......”

Miyuki, who was next to me, was also crying.

“Arata... hey, Arata.... Open... your eyes...”

When I looked up, I saw Arata smiling in the portrait.